Okay, I'm jumping on my soap box! I sat down and watched Dr. Phil today and was shocked to hear what are youth are doing these days. These kids, as young as 12, are performing oral sex on each other. They do it for peer pressure, favors, bets, or anything simple. They say it's not sex and they are still virgins. These kids have no self-esteem or morals. Their belief system states that being popular comes at all costs. We as parents have failed to talk to our kids about what sex includes. There is also a trend of kids having sex during dances on the dance floor! One teacher described a prom where the kids formed a circle around a couple while they had sex, keeping the chaperone's from seeing. The only thing that tipped them off was all the cell phones held up in the air videoing the act! What has things come to? I remember kids being promiscuous when I was in school but not this brazen!
I'm not sure how things got to this with kids this day and age. My son was told about the "birds and bees" by friends in school during 4th grade! We had to sit down with our 9 year old and discuss sex. I didn't expect that til he was at least 11 or 12. I don't consider myself a prude and I'm open and honest with my kids but they are kids! Our kids are being thrust into sex way too early. You can't watch tv without something sexual screaming on screen. From ads, magazines, tv shows, music, etc. you can't get away from it. I remember finding out about things when I was about 11 but I didn't start acting on it til I was in high school. I can honestly say that if I had had a better relationship with my family I don't believe that I would have latched on to my boyfriend so much. (Ironically he's my husband now) I was so eager to please him and keep him loving me that I did whatever he wanted. I can't blame him because it was me who caved into peer pressure and my low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem and bad family relationships can push kids into seeking love and approval in the wrong places and ways. We've become a culture that is too accepting of things that 50 years ago would be terrible even behind closed doors. Our family values have declined, kids are more likely to come from broken homes, and everywhere you look they are being told to be skinny, beautiful, promiscuous, and that marriage is not important. I worry for my children. I want them to have loving relationships and I'm not blind to see that they might have their troubles.
My kids have seen divorce in their friends families, unplanned pregnancies with unmarried couples, and families that seem to be "perfect" on the outside but close up are in shambles. We are not a perfect family by no means but my husband and I are best friends and we like each other. Most couples just bear each other. I want my kids to see us in love, laughing, enjoying time together, working through issues, showing each other respect.....things that can make a marriage great. I hope that we can raise our children with morals and high self-esteem. Traveling like we do helps us to depend on each other, work through problems (cause you really can't retreat to your own spaces in an RV), we play together, discuss things and lean on each other. When we come home to visit we hang out with friends but are always somewhat disappointed. They are all either depressed about their life, wrapped up in what they don't have, or too busy tweeting, facebooking or blogging to actually talk to real people. (And yet here I am blogging). I'm not perfect by no means. I have many many faults. I'm still that child inside with low self-esteem wanting approval but I want better for my kids. The older I get the more confident I become.
All in all I just wish that life had not gotten to the point where sex is becoming a "no big thing" for kids and that they could just be kids. Riding bikes, skating, playing in the dirt, swimming, playing with dolls, or cars and unplugging from the hottest game. Kids just don't seem to know how to be "kids" anymore. It makes me sad.
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2 comments:
Well said! I didn't watch the Dr. Phil episode you're referring too, but appalled nonetheless. What has happened to good old fashioned morals? Peer pressure and negative socialization were both one of the deciding factors when it came to educating our children at home. That and my husband and I desired to have a closer, better relationship with our own children than what we had grown up with. I'm so thankful that my kids are teenagers and considered naive by my family. Not that we haven't talked to them about sex, we certainly think they should have a healthy view of sex inside a loving marraige relationship- but they heard about it from us first- as it should be.
Oh my. This is so sad and so true. Right after college I substitued alot in for highschool, middle school and elementry. I was appalled and scared for my own future children way back then. At that time I had no idea we'd be homeschooling and, needless to say, I am SO glad we are!!
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